silverlining

12th June 2010

Post

Grandpa, I’ll always be your little girl

I haven’t posted anything on here since March so I guess it’s a little past time for an update.

My Grandpa was called home to be with Jesus this past Sunday. My parents were out of town so naturally I was sleeping in their bed when my phone rang at 6:41 am. My phone never wakes me up, but for some reason it did. I fumbled to reach it when I saw that it was my Grandparents’ home phone that was calling. I knew before answering what that phone call would entail. My dad, aunt and Grandma were in the room when Grandpa took his last earthly breath. He went peacefully, and that’s all we could ever hope for. He had been crippled for 13 years, I don’t remember him ever being able to walk actually. He was and is a role model to everyone who knew him. He wasn’t the kind of person to say how much he loved us, he believed that actions speak louder than words. Talk is cheap, anyone can talk. He was a true cowboy. His saddle was at the funeral service along with his cowboy hat and vest that he sported most days. I don’t know if he knew how big of an impact he had on my life but I know he does now. He taught our family to appreciate the small things, those things are what really matter in the end. My Grandma said that in his last few days his voice was gone but he would look up at her and smile and she knew that it meant ‘i love you.’ Those are the little things that matter. I left Tulsa Monday afternoon after my class. That car ride was full of so many thoughts. ‘I’ve never walked into my Granparents’ house without seeing him sitting in his chair’ ‘Who is going to tell me I smell good after I shower there?’ ‘Who is going to get aggrevated when all the grandkids are being loud?’…It was a shock. I kept waiting for his sweet voice to call me over to tell me a new joke he had heard or to calm his leg from shaking. It was hard. It was hard to see my Grandma’s heart breaking knowing that there was nothing anyone could say to stop her from falling apart. How do you say goodbye to your soulmate of over 50 years? I can’t even fathom 50 years. Everything reminds me of him, especially country music. He was scared that I wouldn’t get to be a part of the way they lived after my mom and dad got a divorce. But I did. I have never looked up to a person, or two people as much as I have my Grandparents. They defined love. Define it still. The last time I visited them I knew it would be my last time to see my Grandpa alive. I’ll never forget the way he held on when I said goodbye. Never. I know he’s walking, running and flying past Heaven’s gates. I can’t wait to hold his hand and kiss his forehead like I’ve done so many times before.

I love you more than you will ever know